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狼吞虎嚥的咀嚼著每個週日深夜母親為她準備的超級便當,她總是想著:這樣的美味就是幸福的來處,也是人生裡不管幸與不幸都會讓人終究想要往赴的歸處…….有時候她會在那樣似乎漫不經心的隱諱思考中漫溢出對母親的感激,以及總是不習慣說出口或顯性表達出來的巨大的……………偶爾,熱淚這麼促不及防的流下,她卻又那麼的感到羞愧,羞愧於看來這一生注定的落魄失意無法榮耀那髮已斑白的老母……每思及此,孤獨的靈魂便又痛苦掙扎了起來…………

 

 

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這是我們社區裡一位男生養的哈士其, 我的年假最後一天,社區吃春酒,結束後跑到他家去看狗.....

結果沾了我滿身毛.....不過這狗很漂亮呢,讓我也懷念起養狗的日子來......



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愛極了我的小魚缸....希望這些小孔雀趕緊長大....這兩天目光總禁不住的關愛起這些魚兒來....

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2007/02/02 隨便說說 雖也算不上習慣,總會上來蹓噠一下,留下簡短的思緒或心情,大部分情況是無所謂好壞吧,也許只是一點抒懷,一點釋放,為存在的生活中不知是否叫壓力的眾多情境做個紀錄,像今天就在寒冷的低氣壓裡感覺身體不適,而更不適的是想到明天大好週末的又要去嘉義出外業調查的差事一連五天...如果說她對自己愈來愈沒信心或愈形絕望,會是因為感覺似乎從來沒人感謝其實生活單純且歷練並不多的她的付出或心疼近來健康情形並不佳的她吧.....
 
2007/01/31 得意的笑 天使在這個暖冬裡也算是熱情綻放了.
早上請了假,下午上班沒什麼力,喉嚨像梗著東西,真不舒服.
到峻帥哥那抓了十隻小孔雀魚放進在日本帶回來的半圓月型花瓶裡,加上四色琉璃珠及些許水草,嘿,好精巧漂亮的小魚缸,
在兩個多禮拜就過年了呢,希望此去是智慧年的開端,得勉勵自己不許再渾沌過日了

 
2007/01/29 得意的笑 靜心湖的午后時光
溫暖的陽光 冷冽的空氣
中和出一種淡淡的幸福氛圍
粼粼波光 閃閃動人
在寧謐美好的無言中
似乎昇華了內在的能量

我是幸福的  在這春光爛漫的午后時光

 
2007/01/27 我不要 忘了把便當拿進冰箱,忘了眼鏡到底擺哪兒,忘了回覆那通重要的簡訊,忘了約好去為好同學的母親仙逝上香....最近的一堆'忘了',讓她幽幽怨怨的悲傷了起來...於是她躺了將近四十小時,認真的唸書,想要平復那不應該屬於自己的健忘症狀,可是那樣的認真仍喚不攏清晰的思路,居然只能想著:不僅青春歲月離我愈來愈遠,連幸福都愈來愈遠了嗎?
 
2007/01/25 思考中 It's Lidar group have dine out together tonight.That Italiano restaurant is great (Friendy pizzeria)

I've been a look at those young kids....I felt a little bit jealous of their youth.....

Where is my youth?? how I wish the time never fade away so quickly...

 
2007/01/24 得意的笑 不知怎的,她今天突然了悟:妳的世界實在太小了 ......

晚上到印度料理餐廳和好友餐敘,五個女人,兩種婚姻狀態,可不牴觸同性友誼對生活上不同經歷的交流分享,那短短的幾個鐘頭,總能讓我忘卻尋常煩惱.

許久許久沒上街,找了兩家音樂專賣店,終於帶回了Back to Bedlam 希望Awake也不會讓人失望才好

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她說第一次聽到James Blunt的you're beautiful便不能自己........

她說,自此而後她要認真的走自己的路,不做無謂的奉獻,

I'll never be a fool anymore, I'll be stronger, be myself, even if go on alone .......

My life is brilliant.
 
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
 
You're beautiful. You're beautiful,
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
cos ill never be with you
 
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
 
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
you're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
cos ill never be with you
 
la la la la, la la la la, la la la la laaaaaa
 
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Goodbye My Lover   
 
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
 
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
 
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
 
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
 
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(2x)
 
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
 
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
 
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
 
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
 
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
 
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
 
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
 

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拎著同樣破碎的心

暗自傷悲.....

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今天和Rebecca到竹北喝下午茶,照了新照片,就給貼上了,其實心情還在谷底,不似相片上的笑意...這樣的人生真有些諷刺.……

出生還未滿三個月的Tara真是漂亮,等到都太陽下山她醒了,我愛不釋手的逗弄這愛爾蘭混血baby girl,像那不饜足的攝影師拼命拍照,她那雙水靈大眼真是徹底的打動我...然後傍晚要回家了,關起她們的車門,那不捨竟排山倒海襲來.....

 

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昨晚去皮件店買了兩個皮夾,因為TADA PAPA & TADA MAMA生日就快到了,這事惦記很久,還是拖到昨晚看完驚悚電影後才出去市區購物.回來後弄了一整晚禮物包裝,搞到早上七點真是累斃了

設計製作簡單小卡貼在盒上,也整理列印了一些六月底福山南扶輪社來參加北扶社30週年的餐會照片,還有四月底參加台灣應材文藝季蔣勳北宋美學送的四張中國風書夾,這樣簡單的生日禮物讓自己有點心虛不過總是百分之兩百的心意,相信PAPA能體會的

認識TADA PAPA有十五年了吧,想起這十多年來他從未曾忘記我的生日這件事便覺得非常感動!!非親非故卻能延續這般情誼殊屬不易,慚愧在我和翠菊在這繁瑣的海海人生裡一直不長進,到現在都沒去學日文,理由很多(說藉口也行),說來總令人洩氣....所以不想贅言.....

左邊就是我最尊敬的TADA PAPA.這張照片攝於台北,95-06-24,SAYONARA Party

 

 

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